and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize