i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
