Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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