There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
