margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
i think im in europe. pls send help
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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