I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
