I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
