The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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