If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
