Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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