I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
