I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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