so that wasnt chicken after all
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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