Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
