he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
