I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I woke up under a house in Key West
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