Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
