go do what you do best...puke behind churches
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Randomize
