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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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