did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Randomize
