you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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