threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
