The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
