Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Randomize
