You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
