This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i just google imaged poop.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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