omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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