You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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