Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I lost the right to judge tonight
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
