She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
And my parents said I crawled through the house
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
