We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
