i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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