69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
