So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
