Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Randomize
