I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
