I hate all girls vehemently.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
