i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
