Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
