I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
You smell like stripper and shame
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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