Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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