Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
