how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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