I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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