Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
