Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
