man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Princesses don't give blow jobs
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
