I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
