New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
