i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
